Burned out

-- 5 Nov 08 --

This was written on 5 Nov but hv forgotten to post it...
stress + worries + guilty, etc... haiz...
all in 1!

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So much has happened at work and at home lately.

Had took a week off work to clear the balance of my maternity leave last week to try to take a breather as I felt tt I've lost the energy to work.

Went for short break at Batam but ended up - not tt fun/ enjoyable.
Come bk on Monday feeling even more tired. Dun ask me why. Just felt not refreshed at all...
Maybe cos on Sun - learnt tt grandpa got hospitalized so not really in the heart to enjoy.

Tuesday - took care of Kady since her CC is closed.

Wed - ended up gg bk to work for 1/2 a day.
then went to hospital to see grandpa.
1st sight @ grandpa - in my heart I know his time is near...
had a really emotional talk with him... which left me emotionally drained.
(he's diagnose with acute leukemia)

Thurs - work fr home as need to get my mind off grandpa, prepare slides for our budget mtg. No mood - so whole afternoon also never do much. haiz

Fri - home with Vera, then went to CC for Kady's b'day celebration... (only piece of good news)

Sat - Vera started fussing thru' out the nite... so didn't sleep well.

Sun - Vera had fever, Kady had bouts of vomitting, I had diarrhea.
Evening - rush to hospital to see grandpa as he suddenly developed fever.

Mon - Tuesday, had intensive off-site budget meetings. Vera still had her fever, no sleep again at nite.

Wed - mad rush trying to clear off the work, new assignments, budget mtg wrap up, new staff orientation...

I'm sooooo tired!!!! really burned out...
got break maciam no break like that....

on my plate now - got soooo many outstanding items to complete!
Recruitment to do, projects to handle, new assignments, etc....

ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!! I need 2 more heads and 4 more pair of hands!

Grandpa in Hospital

Heard the news of Grandpa being hospitalized over the weekend when we were in Batam for a short break...

Went to see him in NUH today...
Grandpa looked so frail and small in the hospital bed.
He also looked as if he has lost quite a fair bit of weight.

the 1st thought that came into my mind was that Grandpa won't last long anymore. *sob*
The doc's initial findings/ suspicions was acute leukemia.
Y'day - they drew bone marrow from him.
Grandpa said it was really really painful and they couldn't put him on GA due to his age.

He reminisce the old days with me. How he took care of me when I was but a little girl.
How he stood up for me when I got bullied in school... how he queue with me in the school canteen and got me drinks during my 1st week in school... how he scolded me and also admitted that he was really harsh with me when I was a kid.

He told me that he loved me as his daughter and not as a grandchild. Told me how he stood up to his son when he thought the way he treated me was too much. Grandpa asked me not to hate his son..... I in all honesty - couldn't answer him. I don't know if I still hated my soon to be ex-stepfather. Hate is such a strong word.

I don't think I hate him as much as before. I just can't bring myself to forgive or forget the things he has done or the words he has used. I would love to let it all go... but somehow it doesn't happen as quickly as I had hoped... I can only pray hard that time will heal the wounds.

When Grandpa told me that he loves me as his own daughter, whatever unhappiness/ unfairness that I had felt before melted away. He cried and I cried too....

If the day really comes where he has to go, I pray that his departure would be a painless and smooth one. I prayed that the last journey will happen when he is asleep...

tired out...

Just returned from Shanghai abt 2 weeks ago.... and somehow, I felt tt I'm all tired out...
really no mood to work and can't concentrate... I seriously need a break!!!

While in Shanghai, 1 of the early evening, we went to their Qi Pu Street (Supplier Market) to shop.
Its at the lower end in Shanghai and alot of shops are selling fake goods!
Simon, my colleague got hounded from the 1st floor up till the 4th floor and then down again till the 2nd floor... guessed he's overdressed in his Long sleeve shirt, pants and work shoes! *lol*
We also went to a seafood place on the outskirts with our china colleagues and its a refreshing experience. We get to choose our seafood outside the restaurants (there's a whole stretch of street on both sides selling diff varieties of seafood), we even spotted a stall selling snakes!!! (in chinese, its called 5 step snake... as if bitten by those wild ones, take 5 steps & you'll be dead!).
Food is quite good but the restaurant isn't too honest.... :S

We'll be gg to Batam next week for 4 days with Kady, Sim and his wife.
After much deliberation, decided to leave Vera with the nanny... as I'm afraid she may get food poisoning or tt she may not be able to adapt well... haiz... its not an easy decision. Till now, I'll still rethinking whether I made the right one to leave her behind. :_(


Here are some pics of the girls taken a while ago....

Kady at her trial Ballet class... she's now taking bebe ballet @ Dance Castle.
Teacher Nicole said she's ready to move up to the next class...






Pics taken @ the Henderson Waves.






Pics of the girls after the walk... all tired, sweaty & grumpy! LOL

Hv not been updating....

Hv not been updating for a while....

Brought the girls to Henderson Wave 1 of the weekends...
Kady enjoyed the little walk but was soon complaining abt the heat and sweat!
dh commented that she's an exact replica of me in this sense - cant stand the heat n the sweat! :P

Last week on children's day - we brought the girls and our nephew to the Bird Park.
Kady enjoyed herself loads! :)

Kady has officially started her Ballet class 2 weeks ago.
After 1 trial and 2 official lessons, she still like the classes load and looked forward to each class on every sat... Hopefully her enthusiasm will continue. :P

Vera is sprouting her 1st baby teeth!!!! 2 at row (lower) just like Kady when she was younger.
Only thing is Vera is sprouting hers abt 1-2mths earlier than Kady.
As I remembered Kady had her 1st teeth at around 7mths.
Vera is now abt 5.5mths coming to 6mths.


Heard some really sad news... someone I know had cancer... stage 2 and is undergoing immediate treatment now.
She's only 22. I really pray hard that she'll be able to pull through this difficult and painful time.
May the Good Lord give her strength!!!

One North Park

We went to One North Park yesterday....
They had a little playground which is supposedly to be interactive but we found the playground to be too small ...

Here's a pic of it:


Some pics that we took at the playground:






After that, we took a short drive to Wessex Village and had breakfast at Laurent's Cafe & Chocolate Bar...
Took their healthy breakfast (S$18), waffle ($5) and another choc croissant set (S$11).
Not because we want to but 'cos the lady said they don't serve hot food altho' on the menu there are alot more varieties!

Overall, the food isn't too bad But at those prices, I doubt we will be going back anytime soon.
The ambience is good. Very relaxing.

On a scale of 5 being the highest, I would rate it as follows:
Food - 4
Service - 2 (we had to get our own menu and place order at the cashier & yet still charge us for service!)
Price - 3 (we spend abt $40 all in for 3 adults n 1 kid based on above list)
Ambience - 4 (relaxing environment)

TMSK - Shanghai

I went to a place called Xin Tian Di in Shanghai with my colleague - Simon the last trip when I was there.
They even have their own webiste: http://www.xintiandi.com/chinese/landing.asp

In Xin Tian Di, there are alot of restaurants... the place actually reminds me of Singapore Clarke Quay. :)

After walking around, we decided to try this restaurant based on my mom's recommendation:
http://www.xintiandi.com/english/shop_detail.asp?SID=80

A restaurant call TMSK is the abbreviation of Tou Ming Si Kao, which literally means "Transparent Thinking".

The interior decor is mainly using alot of "liu li" as in man-made crystal.
Beautiful decor, impeccable service!
Gorgeous settings and fantastic display.
Of course all of these come with a price.
The cheapest dinner set on the menu was RMB 599 (abt S$120 based on S$1 = RMB$5 exchange rate).
We ordered 1 set of this to share and also a lobster fried rice.

Here are some pics:










Most of the food served was really yummy.
The ones that I find normal would be the Mushroom soup altho' its supposedly 1 of the favourites. I've tasted better Mushroom soups in Singapore restaurants! :P
Dessert esp the choc cake is very normal... not to go crazy abt.

Finally Home...

Was away for a Biz trip in Shanghai n Suzhou the whole of last week.
The whole trip was a rush... with alot of last minute changes...

my 1st biz trip on my own... arrived in Shanghai airport and the pickup from the hotel had some problem. They couldn't start the car...
ended up had to walk round the airport to get to the taxi stand n took a local cab from Shanghai to Suzhou instead...

By the time I arrived, I was freaking tired, having spend more than 8hrs on the road. (flight + car ride).

Luckily - this was waiting for me when I arrived! :P


Nothing beats a hot bath to ease away the knots n aches other than a good long massage! *lol*


We bought some caterpillar kits for Kady to grow the sunday before I left for my trip.
& tonight it has finally grown to a butterfly! Or at least 1 of them...Pretty, eh?

& here's some pics of my little 开心果. This nickname given by my mother-in-law to Vera... since she's always smiling... :)